Todays bolt from the blue was a phone call from Enable Ireland to ask would Matthew be starting school in September this year? and if he so, he needs to see the educational psychologist. Bearing in mind, Matthew hasnt even had a single OT or Speech and Language session yet since entering their services....it was a bit of a laugh out loud and 'ya what' moment!!
So that brings me from 'The Future' neatly to 'The Present'.
So that brings me from 'The Future' neatly to 'The Present'.
The Present: 4 - 5 months on from Matthews diagnosis of ASD by the famous Prof Fitz one warm late summer evening. From reading some of the Irish Autism blogs, it strikes me just how many of us encountered 'the shed' of Prof Fitz and how many lives have been changed as a result, sitting in his office, crammed to the rafters with books on Freud, Jung and the psychoanalyst elite.
Pre diagnosis, to be blunt, we were in crisis. Expectations for Matthew were still on the neurotypical scale.. I expected him to be able to function and talk like his older siblings and that any day it would click into place.
The older he got and the less likely that started to happen the more panic started to set in. As I mentioned before, Matthew is a force of nature with a wilfulness and a strength of character that can be astonishing, so for me, I often find it very hard to reconcile it with some of the realities of his autism ..but 4 months on and a change of perspective has opened my eyes to the individuality that all our children have, yours, mine - everyones, but especially those with ASD.
It has changed me, no question about it. Its taught me that you have to be prepared to use different methods and different means to get to where you are going...and its sink or swim along the way!
So, going back to the phone call from Enable Ireland this morning... well, it was strange, Matthew is probably light years from being able to start school at this moment in time ...I couldnt even begin in a 1 min phone call to think, did they mean an ASD unit, mainstream with an SNA..what? (I have to tell The Future to feck off in a minute and stop annoying me with phone calls like that!) but at the same time, Matthew is light years from where he was.
I'm happy with the equalibrium, the little haven that is his ABA pre-school is as much a haven for me as it is him, and slowly but surely helps us towards a new set of expectations, for him and us.
It struck me over Christmas, the difference to this time a year ago was the sound of laughter, a new laugh makes itself heard, guffaws, giggles, chuckles, he never used to laugh, there probably wasnt much to laugh about as everyone expected him to be a different way rather than himself I'm ashamed to say ...sure, there's still regular tears and tantrums when we find ourselves unable to get on his wavelength and understand but to hear it punctuated with laughs inbetween is great for The Present.